Memories
As Fiona walked along she felt herself feeling free, and a sense of peace. She hoped this feeling would last, but knew it wouldn't.
Fiona's mind continued into her past. She remembered the day her dad told her that her mother had died. Her dad came back from the hospital and approached Fiona. She could see he was upset.
Daddy choking up: I don't know how to tell you this Fiona, but your mother didn't make it.
Fiona confused: Make what? What was her dad trying to say? She, being upset at her dad's distress, couldn't quite take things in.
Daddy: Sweetheart, your mother is never coming home. Sh..sh..sh..ee wanted to stay so much, but she couldn't fight anymore. She....
Daddy paused to gain control of himself.
Fiona confused: Make what? What was her dad trying to say? She, being upset at her dad's distress, couldn't quite take things in.
Daddy: Sweetheart, your mother is never coming home. Sh..sh..sh..ee wanted to stay so much, but she couldn't fight anymore. She....
Daddy paused to gain control of himself.
Fiona comprehension setting in: Noooooooooooooo daddy. She had burst into tears. Mommy, mommy, mommy is all she could manage.
Her dad could only stand there and watch. He was hurting too much himself and being a man didn't want to lose control.
That was the day she had lost her father, well and truly lost him. It is true that daddy had died 6 months ago now, and it still hurt, but the six months before he was emotionally gone from her.
Her dad could only stand there and watch. He was hurting too much himself and being a man didn't want to lose control.
That was the day she had lost her father, well and truly lost him. It is true that daddy had died 6 months ago now, and it still hurt, but the six months before he was emotionally gone from her.
Daddy would always visit mommy's grave and spend hours there grieving.
Fiona would come home to an empty house, and have to have cook a dinner that her dad never came home for. She had been lonely and hurting. That was a rough time.
One day she decided after seeing her father home for the first time since mom died to talk to him.
Fiona would come home to an empty house, and have to have cook a dinner that her dad never came home for. She had been lonely and hurting. That was a rough time.
One day she decided after seeing her father home for the first time since mom died to talk to him.
Fiona walked into the room and sighed. Seeing her dad bury himself in a book just to ignore her, hurt. Dad never read when mom was alive, but now he was reading that book like it was the most important thing in his life.
Fiona clearing her throat: Daddy, can we talk?
Her dad didn't even acknowledge her. Fiona had never felt so alone.
Fiona clearing her throat: Daddy, can we talk?
Her dad didn't even acknowledge her. Fiona had never felt so alone.
Her dad concentrated on that book like it was a life line. She couldn't seem to reach him.
The closer she approached the more intent her dad concentrated on the book.
Fiona, not giving up, sat down next to him and grabbed the book away.
To say that her dad was not pleased was an understatement.
He lashed out at her.
In spite of her pain, she tried to talk to him.
Fiona: Daddy, please I know you are hurting, but so am I. I need my daddy. I have so many things I need to talk to you about.
Daddy: Look Fiona, I just can't do this right now.
To say that her dad was not pleased was an understatement.
He lashed out at her.
In spite of her pain, she tried to talk to him.
Fiona: Daddy, please I know you are hurting, but so am I. I need my daddy. I have so many things I need to talk to you about.
Daddy: Look Fiona, I just can't do this right now.
Daddy: I just lost the one person I loved most in my life, I need time.
I know you can't really understand how I feel. She was your mother, but my wife. She meant everything to me. I wanted to die the day your mother died, but I still have a responsibility to you. I have nothing left to live for.
Fiona flinched as those words settled like a sore deep in her soul. She was so hurt, she could barely find the words to reach him. She realized that in spite of how her daddy had loved her, it was never like the love he had for mommy. It almost sounded like he resented her for being around. Could he be mad at her that he couldn't join mommy? It was hard to grasp, but it seemed he was.
I know you can't really understand how I feel. She was your mother, but my wife. She meant everything to me. I wanted to die the day your mother died, but I still have a responsibility to you. I have nothing left to live for.
Fiona flinched as those words settled like a sore deep in her soul. She was so hurt, she could barely find the words to reach him. She realized that in spite of how her daddy had loved her, it was never like the love he had for mommy. It almost sounded like he resented her for being around. Could he be mad at her that he couldn't join mommy? It was hard to grasp, but it seemed he was.
She knew now that she could never take the place of her mommy although she had tried so hard after mom died doing laundry, cooking dinners her dad never showed up for, and kept the house sparkling like mom had. It wasn't enough. Her dad's capacity for love was buried with mom. It wasn't in him anymore. He was just void of any capacity to function any more.
She couldn't give up though. They needed money as dad hadn't worked since mom died 5 months before.
She had decided to get a job, but she needed her dad to help out and get one as well.
He just sat there like a zombie.
She had decided to get a job, but she needed her dad to help out and get one as well.
He just sat there like a zombie.
Finally she in her grief exploded. All her emotions came out.
Fiona screaming: I get it daddy, mom is gone, but it doesn't mean life stops! You are being selfish and forgetting that I miss her too! I cry everyday alone over a solitary meal that tastes like sawdust, but I eat it. You want to know why? I eat it because life goes on. I have tried to take mother's place, but I can't. I need you to need me, help me and love me! I lost mom, and now you! I can't lose you both! I can't! I need you daddy! Please can't you see that?
Fiona desperately hurting begged: Love me daddy! Love me! Please, please please, I will do anything if you will just love me!
Fiona screaming: I get it daddy, mom is gone, but it doesn't mean life stops! You are being selfish and forgetting that I miss her too! I cry everyday alone over a solitary meal that tastes like sawdust, but I eat it. You want to know why? I eat it because life goes on. I have tried to take mother's place, but I can't. I need you to need me, help me and love me! I lost mom, and now you! I can't lose you both! I can't! I need you daddy! Please can't you see that?
Fiona desperately hurting begged: Love me daddy! Love me! Please, please please, I will do anything if you will just love me!
Daddy had just got up after giving me a hurtful, angry look and left the room. That look had said volumes. It had accused her of not caring or understanding his pain. That look said I am still here and it is your fault.
Fiona sighed. There was no reaching him. She was all alone. How was she going to make it through? She didn't know, but she had to try. She spent the next few weeks trying to reach her dad, but he rebuffed all her attempts. She felt he was already gone, so when she came home from looking for a job a few weeks later to find him dead in the tub with a note on the counter, it was not a huge shock.
The note told her about Shrek's father coming for her. It had continued on to say that he realized that it would be best for him to go join mother instead of just existing for her. He wanted more for me and felt that going to live with Shrek's father would be better for me.
That was one of the worst days of her life among many bad days. Yet losing her daddy the day mommy died was the absolute worst.
Fiona overwhelmed by the pain of those memories awoke out of her reverie to find herself at the park.
She looked around surprised to find herself here. The park was always a place for her to escape to as a child, and somehow never having been here, her instincts brought her to the very place she needed to be right now.
Fiona walked into the park feeling a slight sense of peace. This park could be her refuge, a place to call her own again. She needed this escape. This would be her haven, her place to run when things got to be too much for her. Yes, life might have given her lemons, but thanks to this park now maybe those lemons could somehow be turned into lemonade. She wasn't too sure if that could be done, but at least having an escape was a good start.
Fiona sighed. There was no reaching him. She was all alone. How was she going to make it through? She didn't know, but she had to try. She spent the next few weeks trying to reach her dad, but he rebuffed all her attempts. She felt he was already gone, so when she came home from looking for a job a few weeks later to find him dead in the tub with a note on the counter, it was not a huge shock.
The note told her about Shrek's father coming for her. It had continued on to say that he realized that it would be best for him to go join mother instead of just existing for her. He wanted more for me and felt that going to live with Shrek's father would be better for me.
That was one of the worst days of her life among many bad days. Yet losing her daddy the day mommy died was the absolute worst.
Fiona overwhelmed by the pain of those memories awoke out of her reverie to find herself at the park.
She looked around surprised to find herself here. The park was always a place for her to escape to as a child, and somehow never having been here, her instincts brought her to the very place she needed to be right now.
Fiona walked into the park feeling a slight sense of peace. This park could be her refuge, a place to call her own again. She needed this escape. This would be her haven, her place to run when things got to be too much for her. Yes, life might have given her lemons, but thanks to this park now maybe those lemons could somehow be turned into lemonade. She wasn't too sure if that could be done, but at least having an escape was a good start.